Wednesday, October 03, 2012

The beautiful and bizarre ways people find this blog

Like most bloggers, I am fascinated by my stats — the anonymous information Google collects about who you readers are, how many of you there are and where you come from.

In particular, I always get a kick out of the search terms that lead people here. I'm not very good about optimizing my site for search engines — I'd rather have an interesting or poetic post title than heading each one with "WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE A CHILD WITH CEREBRAL PALSY? MOM REVEALS TOP 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW" (hmm... wait a second....)

So my most frequent search terms are for things like:

outrageous fortune
outrageousfortune.net
outrageous fortune blog
shasta kearns moore blog
shasta outrageous blog


Etc., etc. Pretty boring. But every once in a while one comes along to make me smile. Such as:

funny stay at home mom blogs   (Aw, thanks.)
art   (REALLY? How could my blog even be in the top 1,000,000 hits for "art"?)
feel better now mom cerebral palsy   (awww. I kinda do, now that you said that.)

Many of them would probably seem strange to you, but to me they are are obvious allusions to certain posts I've done:

brain injury "not funny anymore" for It's Not Funny Anymore
i hate social workers for Why I Hate Social Services (Social workers take note: I get a LOT of hits from this search term. Maybe you need to up your game.)
"tickle therapy" for Malachi's Many Cerebral Palsy Treatments
anat baniel method movement matters for any number of posts about ABM
ciao bella italia for Ciao Bella Italia!
cute pregnancy belly photos twin boys for 97 Percent or Would I Have Terminated My Son?
egyptian embalming techniques for Why Does Modern Medicine Throw Away Our Brains?
aren't natural conversations the elephant in the room? for The Elephant in the Room

Many others give me insights into the human condition:

i have cerebral palsy and need money
having a baby sounds like the worst thing ever     (hehehehehehehehehe..... yeah.)
quitting therapy by email
living with a brain injured son
the worst thing my husband has ever said
why people are so mean

And some of them are just plain bizarre!

deer antler + cerebral palsy    (huh??)
plastic triplet lens    (THREE hits from this. Three! What is this??)
art    (again! Really?? I'm honored, but...)

Then there's the seedy underbelly of the Internet.... porn. Really? What sort of searches for porn lead you to a stay-at-home mom's blog about her son's disability? Glad you asked:

ثثهىل فاث لاقثشسف Translation from Google: "Seeing the breast"    (Sure! No problem! Here's my post on the horrors of breastfeeding called Seeing the Breast Half-Full. Not what you were expecting, huh? I'm shocked.)
i sometimes fantasize about my son    (Move along, dude. SERIOUSLY.)

But here's the best one, which led me to believe it was finally time to publish this list of search terms I've been collecting because I have OFFICIALLY reached the end of the Internet.

hot girls with cerebral palsy     (YESSSSS!)

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