Dear Person at the Grocery Store,
Yes, they are twins. We did not hit a baby B.O.G.O sale; the hospital did not throw in another one as we walked out the door; nor did we cosmetically alter someone else's baby to look exactly like ours and then tote him around in a double stroller pretending like we have twins only to be foiled by your cunning line of questioning.
Yes, they are a lot of work. Please stop using the expression "double trouble."
No, they are not a boy and a girl. I don't know why you think twins only come in this option, but I'm glad you understand statistics.
Yes, God is playing a practical joke on me, but it's still not polite to giggle as I walk by or when you suddenly realize the person standing next to you has two babies.
No, my babies don't have socks on. There are several reasons for this, the most important of which is that one of my babies has brain damage and needs all the sensory input he can get while his brain is trying to figure out what's going on. The second most important reason is that baby socks are scientifically engineered to fall off. You are welcome to spend your entire day wrestling four tiny wriggling feet into the negligible warmth of flimsy socks, but don't expect me to.
No, I don't really care that someone you know is a twin or that your mother's cousin's neighbor just had a baby. However, yes, guy at Wal-mart, I do want to hear all about your cousin who raised three babies using an irrigation ditch instead of diapers.
And finally, yes, they are very cute. And, yes, their smiles are adorable. Thank you.